Vexed by Vampires releases June 15!
Vampires. Not the midlife crisis I expected.
When I finally got around to dating after my jackhole of a husband walked out on my fortieth birthday, I thought personal grooming was my biggest worry. Until I went on a date with a vampire and ended up fighting for my life.
Now I see magic—and danger—everywhere I look, and somehow I’m the one responsible for keeping everyone safe.
It’s worse than being roped into heading a PTA committee. Well…maybe.
Anyway, whatever happened to finding a teenage girl to be the Chosen One?
Still, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the people I love safe.
I might even be willing to protect that jackhole ex. But only if I have to.
Excerpt
I stood over a pile of bubbling red goo slowly spreading out and sinking into the surrounding dirt. I glanced back and forth between the sludge pile and the small tree branch in my hand, finally forcing my fingers to uncurl. The stick tumbled from my nerveless grip, hit the thin strip of struggling grass at my feet, and then bounced off the curb and clattered into the parking space next to my car.
“What the hell just happened?” I was sure I had spoken the words aloud, but I couldn’t hear them.
As if from a distance, the echo of sharp voices tumbled against me, cutting into the numbness cushioning me from reality.
“Go, go, go!”
My heart pounded in time to the shouted instructions.
Helmeted figures in dark clothes poured out of the back of a black van parked three rows over in the otherwise almost-empty parking lot.
A SWAT team?
The soldiers swarmed around me, buzzing like bees, their voices distorted by the helmets—or possibly by something in my brain.
I glanced back down at the pile of clumpy red jelly at my feet, then gagged as I remembered what it really was.
“Ma’am,” a woman’s voice next to me said, and I realized she had been repeating it for several seconds.
I lifted my gaze toward her more slowly than I intended. “Yes?”
My voice sounded as far away as theirs had seconds ago.
Her tone turned even more intense, as if that were possible. “Ma’am, did he bite you anywhere?”
My hand crept up to my neck, and I rubbed at it absently, pulling my palm away to check for blood. “I don’t think so,” I finally answered, holding my clean fingers out for her to see. “He tried, though.”
The woman in uniform next to me popped her visor open. “We’ll need to have our medics check you out, but I think you’re right.” She cast an experienced gaze over me. “No blood,” she announced to her team. “Time to clean up this mess.”
The commandos grabbed my arms and tugged me off the strip of landscaping. I stumbled away, and they began sweeping across the red clumps with flamethrowers, sending black smoke curling into the sky.
About the Author
USA Today, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times bestselling author Margo Bond Collins is a former college English professor who, tired of explaining the difference between “hanged” and “hung,” turned to writing romance novels instead. She now writes urban fantasy, paranormal romance, and science fiction romance. Sometimes her heroines kiss aliens, sometimes they kill monsters. But they always aim for the heart.
You can learn more about her books at www.MargoBondCollins.net and follow her on social media:
Be sure to check out the other books on this week’s Book Hooks Blog Hop!
Words, Words, Words 
What a sense of humor on display here. Loved your excerpt. Kept me reading!