World Weaver Press just recently birthed my novel, Bite Somebody. It’s about vampires, but nobody sparkles in the sun or mopes around being deep.

Instead, newbie vamp Celia Merkin works in a gas station, fears her first bite, and is about as awkward as a dolphin in a tuxedo. What she needs to do—according to her moody vampire friend Imogene—is just bite somebody. But Celia wants her first bite to be special, and she has yet to meet Mr. Right Bite.

Then, Ian moves in next door. His scent creeps through her kitchen wall and makes her nose tingle, but insecure Celia can’t bring herself to meet the guy face-to-face. When she finally gets a look at Ian’s cyclist physique, curly black hair, and sun-kissed skin, other parts of Celia tingle, as well.

The vampires on my hottest of the hot list make me tingly, not going to lie. I’ve picked my top five hottest bloodsuckers of all time. See how my list compares to yours.

5. Dracula (Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker’s Dracula)
Yes, I realize Gary Oldman isn’t going to make it on any “Sexiest” lists anytime soon. However, something about the way he played the most famous vampire in literary history just got me all hot and bothered. Maybe it was the clothes. Or the dancing. Or the absinthe. Or the fact that I have a huge crush on Oldman as Sirius Black. Whatever the reason, he can nibble my neck anytime.

4. Spike (James Marsters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
This is a more obvious choice as all girls like a bad boy in leather. Plus, when you look at Marsters, I have one word: cheekbones. The brash British accent doesn’t hurt either. I’ve always been drawn a bit to bad boys, which is why I’m not on the Angel team. I mean, who wants an angel when you can have a boy more likely to give you a cigarette and a ride on the back of his motorcycle?

3. Selene (Kate Beckinsale in Underworld)
As if I’m not going to include a chick on this list. I mean, have you seen Beckinsale in full body, skin-tight leather? (Jeez, I might have a leather problem.) With her pale skin and glowing blue eyes, this super assassin immortal knows how to fan my flame. She’d totally protect me from werewolves, she wears excellent combat boots, and her hair is always flawless, even after ripping a guy’s heart from his chest.

2. Jerry Dandridge (Colin Farrell in Fright Night)
This casting wasn’t fair because Farrell already looks like a vampire and I already thought he was dreamy—so I was doomed to love good old neighbor Jerry from word “Go.” He’s a smooth operator, this one, and he’s so sexy that even after he blows up your house, you might still be willing to give him a bite. Plus, he has that sort of sick sense of humor that makes me laugh … all the way to the bedroom.

1. Imogene (from Bite Somebody)
Surprised? You shouldn’t be! Celia’s sidekick in Bite Somebody is a total sexpot. She’s got a skinny model body, huge purple hair, and she’s been known to lick hot guy’s faces. She wears rock star t-shirts and combat boots while breakdancing to Bowie. She can glamour you from twenty feet away, and she’s a bearcat in the sac. Want to meet my badass evil princess? Pick up your copy of Bite Somebody today, available from Amazon and World Weaver Press!

About Bite Somebody:

“Do you want to be perfect?”

That’s what Danny asked Celia the night he turned her into a vampire. Three months have passed since, and immortality didn’t transform her into the glamorous, sexy vamp she was expecting but left her awkward, lonely, and working at a Florida gas station. On top of that, she’s a giant screw-up of an immortal, because the only blood she consumes is from illegally obtained hospital blood bags.

What she needs to do—according to her moody vampire friend Imogene—is just … bite somebody. But Celia wants her first bite to be special, and she has yet to meet Mr. Right Bite. Then, Ian moves in next door. His scent creeps through her kitchen wall and makes her nose tingle, but insecure Celia can’t bring herself to meet the guy face-to-face.

When she finally gets a look at Ian’s cyclist physique, curly black hair, and sun-kissed skin, other parts of Celia tingle, as well. Could he be the first bite she’s been waiting for to complete her vampire transformation? His kisses certainly have a way of making her fangs throb.

Just when Celia starts to believe Ian may be the fairy tale ending she always wanted, her jerk of a creator returns to town, which spells nothing but trouble for everyone involved.

About Sara Dobie Bauer

Sara Dobie Bauer is a writer, model, and mental health advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. She spends most days at home in her pajamas as a book nerd and sex-pert for SheKnows.com. Her short story, “Don’t Ball the Boss,” was nominated for the 2015 Pushcart Prize, inspired by her shameless crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. She lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she would really like to live in a Tim Burton film. For more about Sara, visit her website: http://SaraDobieBauer.com.

 

 

 

Where to buy Bite Somebody:

World Weaver Press
http://www.worldweaverpress.com/store/p103/Bite_Somebody.html
Amazon